October 9, 2024
There are times of the year when things have a habit of speeding up.
Projects that were a little behind are suddenly short of runway. Stakeholders realise there’s something critical they forgot to ask you for. Social commitments and family obligations pile up like a jenga tower at a kindergarten.
If it’s all starting to feel too much, remember that lack of control is one of the six big stressors that drive the “energy out” side of the burnout system. That means if you can bump up your sense of control over what’s going on, you can reduce stress and the toll it takes on your body.
Here’s what the research has to say about what works:
- Get clear on what you really can control. In the West, we have a cultural tendency to overestimate our control over events. Think hard about your real “zone of control” to counter that tendency, and stop wasting energy worrying about things that are well outside of it.
During Covid you may have seen something like the diagram below. The basic idea dates back to the Stoic philosophers; there’s also a large body of evidence to support the idea that getting clear on what’s in each of these circles, and committing your time and energy to the innermost one, is a good recipe for weathering stressful times.
To translate into work rush terms: you can’t control how many unreasonable requests you receive, or the disappointment that saying “no” might cause, but you can control how you say “no” if that’s what you need to do.
- Tackle the overwhelm directly. There’s good evidence to support the old advice: take the bull by the horns. Actively confronting a stressful situation reliably increases our sense of control, and in turn our overall wellbeing. In contrast, letting it roll over us, trying to distract ourselves from it, or actively avoiding it, all have strong negative effects.
Some useful things to try: re-assert a personal boundary that might have eroded. How you set and protect your boundaries is both within your circle of control, and also something that can quickly give you a much stronger sense of that control. Or decide not to do something that’s been on the bottom of your list for a while, and communicate your decision. Cross it off, and savour that slightly shorter to-do list rather than giving yourself a hard time about it.
- Step back and get some perspective. Calm, reassuring thoughts can also increase your sense of control. If it feels like the jenga tower is genuinely out of your hands, remember you can still control how you respond to it. Instead of rushing to the rescue, take a breath, get outside for a minute, try putting a little distance between yourself and whatever's going on. Remember it’s going to make a great story later.
